


Couldn't Find a Pen

by AmberGalaxy



Category: Welcome to Hell - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Welcome to Hell big bang, including himself, lil cameo, sock is annoying but jonathan secretly loves it, sock tries to help but doesnt do anything to help anyone, trying to stick to the tone of the original short as much as possible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 11:19:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15484626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberGalaxy/pseuds/AmberGalaxy
Summary: When Jonathan finds a threatening message scrawled across his locker, he wonders if he's finally become the target of one of the school bullies. At first, Sock is overjoyed, but he soon discovers that the situation might not be as ideal as first thought.Written for the Welcome to Hell Big Bang!





	Couldn't Find a Pen

**Author's Note:**

> Art for this fic by the wonderful Phooka can be seen here! https://phooka-animation.tumblr.com/post/176438077208/heres-the-art-i-made-for-w2hbigbang-2018-these
> 
> Art by the wonderful Moldyspinach can be found here! https://moldyspinach.tumblr.com/post/176449628840/36-chapter-slow-burn-done-for-starryambers 
> 
> Thank you both!

Jonathan didn’t think that he went to a particularly unruly or rough school. Like everything, he was just kind of indifferent about it. He didn’t hate anyone, but he didn’t particularly like anyone either. No one seemed to care that he didn’t have a close friend group, he just kind of milled about from A to B. Good old Jonathan, the guy that doesn't care about anything. So he was mostly ignored and Jonathan was fine with that. He liked his own company, he liked peace and quiet.

“Gee, whadda piece of art, huh? I mean, that looks like real blood, they’ve even got the globs in to look like blood clots! It sure doesn’t fool me though, blood turns dark brown when it dries, ‘cause of the lack of oxidisation, y’know? I remember once -when I was alive- I killed this rabbit, and I thought it’d be kinda neat to paint my bed posts red with it’s blood, but man, it was already turning that nasty brown halfway through me painting it.”

Jonathan sighed, and massaged his temples in a way that implied that he was suffering from a chronic headache. Maybe he was constantly suffering from a chronic headache, and that chronic headache merely manifested itself in the form of a badly dressed, demon-ghost boy, or whatever Sock was.

“Anyway, lets get to the real issue, Jonny-boy. Whoever slapped this on your locker obviously has it in for you. Things are probably just gonna get worse from here. By the end of the week, the whole school will be up your butt. You should probably just kill yourself now and get it out of the way.”

Jonathan shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets. Okay, so someone had written **_KYS FREAK_**  in goopy red paint over his locker, that just kind of indicated to Jonathan that whoever wrote it was the one with the problem. If they’d left a more reasonable note that read something maybe like “Hello Mr Combs, please kindly resist with your irregular behaviour, as it is making some of your school peers rather uncomfortable”, maybe then Jonathan would second guess himself. Okay, so he was aware that he’d been acting a little freakish lately. Constantly falling off his chair in class, passing to no one in basketball, talking to himself in the urinal… Of course this would warrant a reaction. Jonathan just didn’t really think it needed to be this aggressive.

Sighing irritably, Jonathan brandished some wet wipes, something he’d started to carry around in anticipation now, since Sock seemed to cause messy chaos wherever he went. He tiredly rubbed at the red text, but it stubbornly remained in place. Sock snorted with delight, doing gleeful cartwheels in the air behind him.

“Permanent ink! They must really, really hate you. Well, you know how bad the school system is, the teachers probably won’t do anything to help. Only one way out, Jonny! Lets head over to the school roof right now!”

But Jonathan was doing no such thing, in fact, he’d already shrugged his bag over his shoulder and started mooching down the corridor. Sock rocketed over, floating into Jonathan’s path, but Jonathan just walked right through him. Sock squawked in disbelief, waving in Jonathan’s face.

“What is up with you? Why doesn’t this bother you? Why?!”

Jonathan shrugged. “Just doesn’t? They’re the one with the problem.”

“That’s not normal!” Sock practically shrieked. “I saw a kid break down because some jock tripped him in the cafeteria the other day! This is like, a high key, hateful attack on you! C’mon Jonathan, do you really wanna live in a world where you’re hated this much?”

Jonathan frowned and rolled his eyes. “Will you can it already? No one in this school really knows me, so it’s impossible to really hate me. Besides, you hate me, and it doesn’t bother me too much.”

“I-I don’t hate you!” Sock clutched his heart dramatically. “This is a contractual agreement!”

“From Satan, yeah. You said.”

“Well.” Sock struggled. “Satan is kind of a strong word, lets just say he’s the ole’ big boss of Hell n’call it a day.”

Jonathan smirked, and Sock hated that smirk. It was rare and smug and it made Sock want Jonathan alive and dead at the same time. Why did he have to make this job so difficult? Sock was dead! What else did the universe want from him?

“Anyway, like I say to you every day, I’m not planning on checking my ticket. Regarding my locker, the only reason someone’s got an issue with me, is because of all the weird shit you’re making me do all the time. Ain’t personal. See ya.”

And for once, Sock didn’t follow, because he was well and truly stumped. Jonathan had received a violent threat, and he didn’t care. Okay, so many Sock wasn’t the most threatening of demons, but if he wasn’t able to take advantage of the outside circumstances, then what hope did he even have? Jonathan was just… immune to all feelings! Feeling like Jonathan had won this round, Sock felt like he was in serious need of a break.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At this point, Jonathan had gotten so used to Sock’s presence, that any length of time without him jabbering in his ear was eerily quiet. Not that Jonathan was complaining. Despite not caring about literally anything involving calculus, it was nice to actually have the option to listen to the teacher for once. That being said, his mind was elsewhere. Despite being outwardly indifferent to Sock, Jonathan was curious to who might have committed the act of vandalism on his locker. He’d always been seen as a bit of a loner, but no one really judged him for it. Jonathan just wasn’t a great target for bullies, because he just didn’t react, he didn’t care. Even with his bouts of strange behaviour brought on by Sock, the other students still didn’t really bother him. Even if they felt compelled to address the strange incidents, surely they wouldn’t be through such venomous means. Jonathan wasn’t naïve. Despite the act not really effecting him much, whoever graffitied the locker probably had it in bad for him.

…Had Sock done it? Maybe. Jonathan was never quite sure just how much he could effect the real world. Sometimes it seemed like he could become solid, but other times it seemed like Sock really was all in his head. Jonathan had mulled over the possibility before. Was he going mad? Surely madness was brought on by neurological disorders and trauma, but even if Jonathan had suffered from either, why would his hallucinations be so vivid and so… weird and chatty…? Was Sock inspired by someone he used to know? Was there a cartoon character like him on a television show from his childhood? None of it made sense, but then again, nothing about Sock’s existence made sense.

…Jonathan found himself wanting to believe – as he always did – that Sock was real. Surely hallucinations couldn’t be so specific and practically have their own personalities. Besides, a demon friend was preferable to losing his mind, right?

…Sock was probably the one who wrote the message. Jonathan settled into his work and gave the incident no more thought.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sock, meanwhile, was sitting mournfully in one of the stalls in the girls' bathroom, trying to make sense of the morning’s events. Generally, his whole life (death?) now was dedicated to bothering Jonathan, so it was rather rare for Sock to have his thoughts to himself too. Usually, when Sock’s various attempts to get Jonathan to kill himself bounced off Jonathan so easily, Sock shrugged it off and tried something new the next day, but something about the graffiti bothered him. Maybe because Sock had a business agenda, Jonathan didn’t take him seriously, but now someone was being serious and he still wasn’t bothered? What was Sock supposed to do? Sighing heavily, Sock floated upwards, about to swoop through the doors to make sure that Jonathan failed his calculus test.

“Hey, Kid. Heh, thought you went to hell for killin’, not peepin’.”

Sock spun round to see Mephistopheles leaning against one of the sinks, examining his nails. Sock felt a pang of concern, but also one of relief. As much as Mephistopheles usually appeared to warn Sock of his eternal damnation for not doing his job right, he was also good for advice when Sock hit a wall.

“Y’know, I’m glad you showed up. I need some advice.”

Mephistopheles snorted. “What do I look like to you, your therapist? Not sure how to tell ya this, Sowachowski, but that ship has sailed. Like, it’s sailed right off the end of the freakin’ Earth if you get what I’m saying.”

“Haha. Yeeeah. Anyway, so y’know that Jonathan got a message written on his locker this morning…?”

“Lemme stop you there, Kid.” Mephistopheles stood up straight, looking vaguely amused, which was never a good sign. “That’s why I’m here. Someone is trying to steal your position, and I dunno how to tell you this, but they’re doing a good job so far.”

Wait. What? Sock gaped. “Wait, you mean this did bother Jonathan? He acted like he totally didn’t care this morning! Y’know, like he usually does? Hey, this is great! Maybe if I keep bringing it up, it’ll eventually get to him and-“

“-And he’ll have killed himself because of someone that wasn’t you. Meaning, you lose.”

Sock needed a moment to process this situation. Several moments. “Uhhh.”

Mephistopheles sighed. “Jeez, Sock. This fanfiction is just a oneshot, not a 36 chapter slowburn. You’re really gonna make me spell it out for you? If Jonathan kills himself because of the message on his locker, then you’ll have failed, because you won’t be the one that got him to check his ticket.”

“Ohhh.” Sock didn’t really sound like he got it, but then his eyes widened as it slowly dawned on him. “OHHH.”

“Nice one, Kid. We got there in the end, didn’t we? Better act fast, before I start digging up your own personal hellhole.”

Sock tugged at the hair beneath his hat as his expression grew horrified with the realisation. Sock didn’t really have a time limit to off Jonathan, he just knew he had to get Jonathan to kill himself before something else did. He never even entertained the idea that something else might cause him to commit the act. Somehow, that idea was far worse than the thought of Jonathan getting hit by a bus or something.

“R-right. Right! I’m gonna go and put a stop to this right now!”

With that, Sock catapulted off, leaving Mephistopheles shaking his head with exasperation behind him.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jonanthan had gone through a whole lesson without Sock interrupting. Something that was becoming an increasing rarity nowadays. Jonathan didn’t really mind so much though, as strange as it was to not mind having an annoying demon in your face 24/7. It certainly made life more interesting, that’s for sure. As a result, calculus has inched by, and as the rest of his morning lessons came to a close, Jonathan felt a pang of… worry? What could even happen to a demon anyway? Wasn’t Sock already dead? He was probably fine, and Jonathan shrugged the thought off as he mooched towards the cafeteria. Maybe he’d actually get to enjoy lunch in peace for once, too.

“JONATHAN!!”

Well, never mind. Jonathan sighed as Sock shrieked down the corridor and dived at Jonathan’s leg, clinging on with his ghostly arms.

“Dude, what the hell?”

It then struck Jonathan that Sock was crying, looking up at Jonathan with huge, tearful eyes, snot running down his nose. Ew. Jonathan hoped all that was ghostly too, his jeans were new. Sock sniffed noisily, dramatically attempting to climb Jonathan’s leg.

“Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself!”

That made Jonathan miss a beat, but he was back on track in a second. “Wow, you really are bad at this.”

Sock wailed, clinging to Jonathan more tightly, and this time, Jonathan really was sure that he was able to grasp solid objects to at least a certain extent. Maybe it was a willpower thing. Sighing heavily, Jonathan rolled his eyes and awkwardly patted Sock’s hat.

“Unsurprisingly, I’m not gonna kill myself.”

Sock made a mournful little choking sound of relief. “Really?”

“Yeah. Can you let me go now? I’m hungry.”

“B-but wait! My boss told me that you were thinking about the message!”

Jonathan groaned, could Sock’s boss really see inside his head? He supposed it made sense if he was like, Satan or whatever, but still, didn’t anyone in hell respect privacy? “I mean, I guess I have, but just out of curiosity. I can’t really think of anyone who’d have done it. Well, aside from you, but I’m guessing from your reaction that it wasn’t you.”

Sock wailed out like a banshee at this. “I wish, Jonathan! I wish it’d been me!”

“Okay, so not Sock confirmed. Then I honestly have no idea.” Jonathan shook Sock off his leg, fully aware that students in the corridor were staring at him. Whatever. He was used to it now.

Once they were sat together in the quietest part of the cafeteria, Jonathan could talk to Sock properly, now that he’d calmed down. Possibly the most frustrating thing about Sock was realising how much Jonathan missed him being around after he’d gone, not that he’d ever admit that. Sock seemed to genuinely (and ironically) care about him, and Jonathan wasn’t really used to anyone outside his mother doing that. Not that it was a big issue or anything, if Sock was anything to go by (which to be fair, he probably wasn’t) having someone care about you seemed like a big hassle.

“Whaddabout Zack?” Sock suggested. “He calls you Piss Creeper to all his friends.”

“Wow. Great. But nah. He’s married to his football, he wouldn’t risk his precious scholarship over something like this. That probably goes for all the jocks.”

“Okay…” Said Sock, obviously confused by high school culture. “What about the nerds then? They’re dark horses, right? Eugene Dumstong, he’s always givin’ ya the stinkeye.”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. “I don’t even know who that is. How do you know more people in my school than I do?”

Sock shrugged. “You’re right, he doesn’t really know you… he’s probably just lookin’ you up because you’re hot. Okay, how about… one of the girls?”

Ignoring Sock’s offhand comment about Jonathan being hot… One of the girls? “That’s kind of broad, isn’t it? Like, at least the Jocks and Nerds are cliques. Girls make up half the school.”

“Well, yeah! But girls are icky and they have cooties. I think they definitely want you dead.”

“Are you twelve? Besides, if you hate girls so much, why do you wear a skirt?”

“UM. Do not question my fashion choices, Jonny-Boy. You’re dodging the subject. Do you think it could have been one of the girls?”

“Well…” Jonathan struggled, looking away in a rare show of embarrassment. “I don’t really know any girls.”

Sock seemed shocked at this. “Seriously? Is that normal?”

“I mean… I guess not. I don’t really… know any boys either.”

Sock grinned. “You know me.”

Jonathan looked pained. “Uh. Right. But anyway, I guess… it could be one of the girls, but I don’t feel like one of the girls would do that.”

Sock rubbed his chin in confusion. “Girls can be ruthless. When I was a kid, there was this little blonde kid with pigtails on my street. I didn’t crush on her or nothin’, but she seemed kinda cool! So I sometimes dropped by with presents, she was so ungrateful though! Some of the things that came out of her mouth! Like you think I’m a sicko? She had all the lingo nailed at five years old. Heck, if she lived around here? I’d put my money on her being the graffiti artist. I dunno what happened to her though.”

Jonathan sometimes wondered if Sock had any sense of self awareness at all, and if the “presents” Sock offered this unfortunate little girl weren’t roadkill, but they were getting off the subject. “So you think it’s one of the girls?”

“Sure do! I mean, I’m still reelin’ from the fact that you don’t know any, you’d think they’d be lining up round the block!”

“Ooookay, I’m no longer comfortable talking about this with you.” Jonathan got to his feet as the bell rang. “Any chance you’re gonna leave me alone during last period?”

Sock considered, then he nodded. “You know what, yeah! I’m going to do some detective work.”

Jonathan vaguely nodded, grabbing his tray. “Cool. Mom said she’s making Tacos tonight.”

“Can’t wait to sort of feel the sensation on my tongue!”

Jonathan just mumbled tiredly in response, and Sock swirled into the air, dissipating from sight. Now the main problem was out of the way, it was time to ensure that it didn’t happen again. If Jonathan was going to kill himself, then…

Well, it had to be because of Sock.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sock used the last hour of school to study all the girls that were in a close approximation of Jonathan during the school day, because of course, he already had a list of them all. There was Stacy Ellis and her gang, they sat behind Jonathan on the bus everyday. Cheerleaders. Cheerleaders could be pretty cruel in movies! They were usually the bad guys, stealing all the men and screwing over the girls. They probably went home and painted their long nails blood red, cackling as they wrote their evil exploits into a fluffy pink diary.

Only, Stacy didn’t look much like those girls in the movies. She was very smiley, with braces on her teeth. Herself and the rest of the cheerleading squad seemed much more bothered about school events and student moral. Hm. Sock also recalled a time in biology class when Jonathan’s class had to dissect frogs and she cried. She probably wasn’t the culprit then.

Sock shot through to the library, where Naina Omala was cramming for the big test next week. Now she was someone who could do things without being caught. She was known for her pranks. Water balloons, whoopee cushions, stink bombs? She was a girl after Sock’s own heart. They’d have totally been friends when Sock was alive! She could have easily helped her take her pranks to the next step though.

…Still, was the graffiti on Jonathan’s locker something that could be considered a prank? It was more like a threat. Not really that funny, not Naina’s style. Sock sighed, but it wasn’t a total loss. This was simply a process of elimination.

But as the school day began to come to a close, Sock had gone through nearly all of the girls in Jonathan’s year and he’d found no reasons for any of the girls to do it. Most of them had no motivations or were just absorbed in their own lives. As the bell for the end of the day rang, Sock grounded himself in the hallway, watching as the students bustled out of their classrooms, walking right through him without even a shiver. Was it strange that Sock knew more about the students here than Jonathan did? Sock isn’t sure if he could even name a single person at the school he went to. It was strange how much more alive he felt in death.

Taking to the air again, Sock decided to wait for Jonathan at home. Jonathan’s home, rather. He needed to stop thinking of it like that, since it just his place of work.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jonathan left his last class feeling strangely melancholic. Like, proper melancholy, rather than his usual apathy. Things were just so quiet without Sock around. Cursing himself for not enjoying the peace, Jonathan shrugged on his school bag, but continued to wait at his desk as everyone else rushed out as the bell rang. It was easier to just go round the back end of the school to get to the bus stop, rather than fight with everyone else out front. When the teacher was the last one to mooch out, Jonathan got to his feet.

“Hey.”

Wait. Did someone just talk to Jonathan? He spun round, waiting to see if Sock was floating somewhere around the ceiling, but no one was there. Not floating around the ceiling anyway. At the back of the class was a girl. She slouched her shoulders, with her hands in her pockets, and their were bags under her eyes. No one really noticed her.

…Only, that wasn’t entirely true, because actually Jonathan had noticed her before. It struck him that he even knew her name.

“Oh, hey Lil.”

Why was Jonathan talking to Lil like he knew her? They’d literally never exchanged words until this very moment. She wasn’t smiling, but then again, Jonathan couldn’t recall a time where she had ever smiled. She just blended into the background. Maybe that’s why Jonathan noticed her. …Without even noticing he’d noticed her?

There was an awkward, stretching silence, and Jonathan suddenly realised this was probably more of the reason why he didn’t talk to people than he wanted to admit.

“So… what’s up?”

Lil sniffed, her face as tiredly blank as ever. “I wrote that shit on your locker.”

Jonathan blinked. Did silence always include this roaring in his ears? “Oh! So it was you, huh?”

Lil nodded. “I figured you wouldn’t care much, but… I dunno. I don’t really want you to kill yourself. I mean, I don’t care if you do, but I guess it would be better if you didn’t.”

Jonathan kept waiting for the jocks to jump out and yell that he’d just been pranked, but of course, it didn’t happen. Wasn’t Lil the type of girl who hated jocks? Or maybe she just didn’t care. Wait, he wasn’t answering, though how could you answer a situation like this?

Jonathan cleared his throat. “Oh. Right. Well, good to know.”

Lil grabbed her school bag and Jonathan took note of the packet of cigarettes in her back pockets. Lil was probably a… cool girl. Before she left the room, she looked over her shoulder.

“I wanted to see what would happen.”

Did… Did Lil know? Like, really, seriously know? Jonathan swallowed around a dry throat, and for a moment, he wondered if he truly hadn't gone crazy.

“Can… do you know? D-do you have one too? Did they make you write that message?”

Lil snorted, but stopped in her tracks. “Hah. No way. That kind of anti-social behaviour from me apparently loses serious points for her.” Lil paused, then turned around. “Yours is different, aren’t they? They’re trying to make you do weird shit.”

Jonathan nodded eagerly, unable to believe he was having this conversation. “Y-yes…! He’s a demon called Sock. He’s trying to get me to kill myself, but he’s not very good at it. Mostly he just flirts with me and pulls stupid faces at me.”

Wow. That sounded especially crazy spoken out loud.

Lil shrugged. “At least he’s trying his best. Jojo is an angel and she’s supposed to stop me from killing myself. She’s not doing a good job, since I continue to loath my existence on this mortal plane. After today’s developments though, I have a feeling she’s more interested in your demon. Typical. Might just off myself out of pure spite.”

Was Lil joking or not? Jonathan started to wonder if they were actually as similar as he thought. Lil was turning to leave now, but all Jonathan could do was stare after her.

“Anyway, I want to say we’ll never have to talk again, but unfortunately, it looks like we might not have a choice now.”

And Jonathan was left wondering whether he felt unfortunate about this or not.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jonathan was home later than usual, and Sock didn’t even look up from where he was lying on Jonathan’s bed when he finally rolled in. Was this an existential crisis? Did demon’s even have those? He listened to the muffled noises of Jonathan talking to his mom, and the faint smell of tacos filled his nostrils. Man, if there was one thing Sock missed most about being alive, it was the food. Mephistopheles said he’d be able to eat in Hell, but Sock wasn’t allowed to do a great deal there until he completed his tasks in the mortal world. Basically, it looked like Hell had a greater chance of freezing over by means of ice breathing flying pigs than it had of Sock heading there for real, edible Hell Tacos.

Just… why was this so hard? Once again, Sock found himself drifting back to memories of his life, where he just didn’t care who lived and who died. Honestly, why was he such a mess? Sock got handed his dream job, where he could finally properly murder someone, and now he was struggling over whether he wanted to? Since when did becoming a demon supply someone with more empathy?

Was it empathy though? Sock didn’t even know. He groaned and rolled over, wishing the bed sheets were more comforting and solid to him.

“Ughagahh.”

The bedroom door opened, and Jonathan came in with a taco he’d wrapped up in kitchen roll. He tossed it to Sock, accidentally throwing it through his chest.

“Hey dude. How’s the end of life crisis going.”

Sock sat up and ineffectively gnawed at the Taco through through the wrapping, but even that couldn’t cheer him up. He looked up at Jonathan miserably.

“I suck at my job…”

Jonathan snorted. “Yeah, I know. Something I’m profoundly grateful for.”

Sock pouted, but then grinned hopefully. “Are you profoundly grateful for me personally?”

Jonathan laughed and shook his head. “Let’s not go that far. How was your investigation?”

Sock sighed and shuffled up so Jonathan could sit next to him. “Not good. All the girls at this school barely even know you exist.”

Jonathan twitched and frowned deeply at that. “That’s not true, because…” Jonathan hesitated, looking as though he wasn’t sure whether to share with Sock or not, but then he sighed. “I found out who wrote on my locker. It was Lil.”

Sock gasped dramatically, his eyes wide, but then he looked puzzled. “Who the fuck is Lil?”

“Magil Nancy. She’s in my year. I thought you investigated all the girls? Guess you missed her.” Jonathan looked away as he pulled off his hoodie and set it aside. “S’pose that makes sense though, she’s a lot like me.”

Sock frowned deeply, he did not like where this is going. “Oh yeah? I certainly think I would notice a person who was like you.”

Jonathan just hummed in response, pulling the bed covers over himself. “Well, you didn’t notice me, you were assigned to me. We could have gone to the same school and you’d have been way too busy gutting squirrels to know me.”

Sock opened his mouth to protest, but then found he didn’t have a retort. The thing was, Jonathan was probably right. He propped himself up on his elbow as Jonathan settled down.

“Okay, so then, would you have noticed me?”

Jonathan looked like he wanted to settle and go to sleep, but he humoured Sock. “Well, of course, but… well, I mean. You’re kind of hard to ignore.”

Jonathan went to turn off the light and aside from the faint green glow emitting from Sock’s body, the room was dark. “Besides, you’d have just killed me anyway, right?”

Sock considered. “Nah, I don’t think so. I only killed my parents you know, and even then, it was just in my sleep.”

Jonathan turned to lie on his side, away from Sock, but he snorted with amusement as he did so. “Yeah, that’s fine then.”

They were silent for a while. Sock had figured a long time ago that bothering Jonathan in the night to keep him awake would be one of the most effective ways to drive someone mad, but he found he couldn’t keep it up. There was a sense of peace, and Sock kind of liked to watch Jonathan sleep. It was probably creepy, but eh, Sock had resigned himself to the fact that he was creepy long ago. Not that sometimes he didn’t keep Jonathan awake, but mostly it was because he just wanted to chat - and if he was lucky - Jonathan liked to chat back.

“So, about Lil… Why do you think she has so much in common with you again?”

“Keep up, Sock.” Jonathan still lay facing away from him, but the response meant he was up for talking a little while longer, success! “We both just kind of… blend into the background.”

“But you’d never graffiti on someone’s locker, especially not with a message like that. I think you should stay away from her.”

It wouldn’t do if Jonathan made a friend, let alone a girlfriend. That would be… well it would be terrible! If anything because it meant Jonathan would have a larger support network of people who probably would rather Jonathan didn’t kill himself. But wait, Lil did want Jonathan to kill himself! Or did she? Did she not? Augh, why was everything so confusing…!

“I don’t know if I can. She says she’s like me, only she has an angel instead of a demon.”

Sock really hadn’t expected that. He gaped at Jonathan, wondering why on earth Mephistopheles hadn’t told him about this. Angels could be assigned to humans like demons?

“…Wow. Okay. But I still don’t get why she wrote on your locker.”

“Guess she picked up on my behaviour. Makes sense, if she has to deal with the same stuff. Wanted to see how I’d react, maybe it was just to test the waters.”

“Yikes. And I thought my methods were unconventional.”

Jonathan laughed with genuine amusement, and that strange coiling feeling manifested in Sock’s ghostly stomach again. Sometimes, only sometimes, Sock wished he was alive again, and he wondered if things would have turned out differently if he’d met Jonathan earlier.

“So, are ya gonna talk to her again? Even though I said not to?”

Jonathan scoffed. “If I listened to you, I literally wouldn’t even be alive.”

“Ahah. Aha. Ha. Point.”

Jonathan rolled onto his back, and moonlight that was pouring in from the crack of his curtains illuminated his profile. “I think I might, just to remind myself that I’m not completely insane now and then.”

“Well, you never know, you might be suffering from Folie à deux. Y’know, madness of two?”

Jonathan laughed again, and Sock grinned manically. Making Jonathan laugh was always such a victory. However, when he was done, he rolled back on his side, facing away from Sock.

“I think you’re suffering from madness of one. Anyway, I’m sleeping now, don’t worry about Lil and that other stuff anymore. Night, Sock.”

And that was it, that was the end of the conversation. Sock sighed, wishing he could sleep himself, though he had a feeling that even if he’d been alive, he wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway.

“Night, Jonathan.”

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

The next morning, they got up to head to school, only to be greeted by yet another message on Jonathan’s locker, written in the same, grisly fake blood. Jonathan wasn’t staring at it indifferently like the last one, this time, he had a sort of goofy smile on his face.

The message read: **_MAYBE DON’T KYS, FREAK._**

Both Sock and Jonathan turned to a girl with purple hair and and a green jacket. She frowned and stuck her finger up at Jonathan, and to Sock’s horror, he gave her a small wave in response. Sock opened his mouth to protest against this loudly, but his words were lost as he suddenly noticed the blonde girl right next to her. None of the other students, including Jonathan, could see her. She had a faint glow emanating from her body, not much different to Sock’s, but this had a much more heavenly sheen.

What wasn’t heavenly was her face, set into a vicious scowl. Her whole body seemed tense with fury and she was looking right at Sock.

“Y’know what, Jonny-boy? You can have this day, okay? I’m gonna go hang out in the boys bathroom.”

Sock shot off before Jonathan could say anything. Mephistopheles was already waiting in one of the stalls for him. Thank… thank Him! Sock rushed over to grasp at his suit lapels, a crazed look in his eyes.

“A TERRIBLE THING JUST HAPPENED.”

But to Sock’s dismay, he noticed that Mephistopheles looked just as distressed as he was.

“You’re tellin’ me, kid! I told you that you had to step up your game! Now She’s involved!”

Sock tugged at his hat with utter horror. “So you know? You know that Jonathan likes a girl?”

Mephistopheles paused to raise an exasperated eyebrow. “Wait, so this is what you’re so worked up over? Jeez, Sowachowski! You’re killin’ me here! Didn’t you see the Angel that was giving you the evils just now?”

Sock had to think for a moment. “Huh? Oh, yeah. That’s the angel right? Think I’ve met her before when I was alive, great girl. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I really think that Jonathan getting a girlfriend wouldn’t at all be beneficial to my pla-“

Sock was cut off by great balls of fire suddenly flaring from the walls, and Mephistopheles grabbed him roughly by his scarf. “This ain’t about your schoolyard crush, Sowachowski! This is about your already subpar suicide-bating skills being compromised! This is about Her getting one over on me again!”

“Ahah, who?”

Mephistopheles smacked his forehead with frustration, but then the flames quelled slightly.

“It’s fine, kid. Just watch your back. Trust me, that girl ain’t an ordinary guardian angel. Maybe even She doesn’t know that. I swear I was supposed to get that girl kid.”

Sock shrugged, not really understand. “I didn’t even know Jojo died! Heh. Small universe, huh. Anyway, I’m sorry you’re feeling so worked up over this.”

It must be hard, being the devil. Sock felt he could barely handle this one job, but literally all of the underworld? Mephistopheles sure had it tough, and while Sock wasn’t sure who the “Her” he kept talking about was, she sounded like a menace. Feeling renewed determination, Sock chuckled, revealing rows of unnaturally sharp teeth.

“I won’t let this development become a road block. Jonathan will be getting out the toaster with the bathtoys soon, I swear. I’m gonna make it so no girl is ever gonna want him.”

Mephistopheles didn’t seem convinced, but he managed a weak laugh at Sock’s resolve. “Whatever you say kid. Just… keep an eye out. Human’s might not be able to do anything to you, but Angels? Trust me, they’re the real snakes of the underworld.”

Angels? Sock wasn’t worried about angels at all. That Lil on the other hand… She would have to be dealt with. Sock grinned to himself, already thinking of the numerous creative ways he could dispose of her.

“I’ll see you later, Boss. I got some work to do.”

Mephistopheles leaned tiredly against the door of the stall. “Yeah, well forgive me for not having much faith in you. Lil and Jojo haven’t even appeared in canon yet, so I don’t know what you could possibly do to them indefinitely within the constrains of this fanfiction.”

Sock looked up, blinking in confusion. “What?”

Mephistopheles shook his head. “Never mind, kid. Go and get ‘em.”

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That day, Sock was back on form. He threw Jonathan’s school supplies on the floor, yelled in his ear while he was trying to listen in class, knocked Jonathan’s sandwiches out of his hands at lunchtime and sang the French national anthem obnoxiously loudly in the urinals. When Jonathan tried to talk to Lil again after the final bell rang, he’d resorted to trying to physically pull Jonathan away from her, not that he needed to. Lil didn’t seem that interested in talking.

But as always, nothing worked, Jonathan was indifferent as ever. He quietly got on with his business, and even seemed a little… smug? Sock just wanted to scream with frustration, and by the end of the day, despite his vigour from earlier, he ended up sitting quietly on the bus with Jonathan on the way home, moodily looking away from him.

As they got off the bus and walked home as the sun was setting, Jonathan spoke to him, for the first time since the morning.

“So, what’s wrong?”

Had Jonathan ever asked him that before? Sock couldn’t help but surface from his mood for a moment, his eyes wide with surprise. But then he caught himself, and frowned again.

“Nothing.”

Jonathan snorted. “Oh please. You’ve been a total machine today, and you’re not usually pissy when I ignore you, just emo. So what’s up?”

Sock sighed loudly, and then decided to just say it. “I don’t think you should ask Lil to be your girlfriend.”

The worst thing was, that Jonathan barely even reacted, he just laughed again and shook his head. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to.”

Wait, what? “Huh? Why? But you’re all into her!”

Jonathan shrugged. “I don’t really know if I am or not, but I’m interested in just like… her as a person, since she’s got a spooky weirdo following her around like I do. I guess I’m just… relieved to know I’m not the only one.”

So that’s what this all was about? Jonathan was just… glad he wasn’t crazy? Sock wasn’t sure what to say, he was too busy fizzing with relief.

“Besides,” Jonathan said, looking up at the orange sky. “How the Hell would I keep a girlfriend around with you here?”

Sock found himself smiling a little, and he floated closer to Jonathan again.

“So I’m better than a girlfriend?”

Jonathan rolled his eyes. “I can’t really compare you to a girlfriend. If it gets you out of your pissy mood, then for now, yes. You are marginally better than my hypothetical girlfriend.”

And at those words, Sock felt like spinning up and flying into space. Instead, he just grinned happily, feeling the strange warm feeling spread through him again. It was a feeling he was beginning to become quite fond of.

“That’s good. I don’t know why I was worried. You n’me? We’re like, Soulmates.”

“Mhm. Well, until you get me to kill myself, that is.”

“Heh. Yeaaah. Hey, Jonathan, are you gonna eat those leftover tacos in your garbage? The taste is always stronger after they’ve been in the trash can for a day.”

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The next morning, the was a third message on Jonathan’s locker. This time, it was written in real blood, and the handwriting was distinctly different, making the tone of the message change drastically from the last two. It was like it was far too affectionate to even be passive aggressive.

It read: **_KYS, Bae. <3_**

Ignoring Sock’s hopeful smile, Jonathan groaned with annoyance and stalked off, leaving a wailing Sock in his wake. 


End file.
